whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
