Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
