A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
