ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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