You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
did i walk over a car last night?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
