We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
