I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
