You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
