I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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