I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Edward fifth and chaser hands
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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