brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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