i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
