someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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