Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
