you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Randomize
