he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize