Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
