My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
