I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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