No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize