so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
