sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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