she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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