Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
