did you get engaged???
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
