My nipple is on Facebook.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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