the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
that's an acceptable place to lick
im six kinds of drunk right now
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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