so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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