i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
