Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
