I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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