Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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