If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
