You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
