just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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