i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
