And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize