I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
