so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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