I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
