Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
