why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
