you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
