And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
