Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
