on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
