I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
