It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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