What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
