She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
