I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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