he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
