I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
someone owes me an orgasm
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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