God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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