I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
