ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
