hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
